How bad?

I am printing out pages full of these to cut apart and hand out.

This is the best thing ever.

I know some kindergarten teachers that are going to absolutely love these. I'm gonna print up a bunch and laminate them.

So good.

I murdered a policeman.

Love how this isn't even a hermit crab.

@jessamyn The best! Waiting for some photoshop-phantom to do the Kermit crab.

So I stabbed someone in Crab County, Louisiana, who thought it was okay to stand between two lines at the grocery store and then at the last minute when one was faster than the other, say "Oh, I was in this line all along."

Cops came, I was all "BOOM! PERMIT CRAB!" and they were all "PUT THE KNIFE ON THE GROUND AND YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD!" and I've been on the run ever since.

Turns out, this is all part of their racket. Permit Crab gets you to do bad things in Crab County. You go before a jury but it's packed with Crabs or friends of the Crab family, who convict so you wind up in.... the Crab County Jail, a private facility owned by... THE CRAB FAMILY!

In conclusion, I will have my revenge on that crab if it's the last thing I do.

@jer I think we have our MLTSHP winner of the day.

@jer [bemused and amused applause!]