Instead, he signs off with "Sugar, Shaq."

My aunt's upstairs bathroom in the 1970s called. It wants a print of this.

@chicobangs ++

@chicobangs Um, brb, building a time machine. PM me the address pls.

comment ^

roll for saving throws against heart attack

This is amazing.

I wonder if this is another snake thing or what.

I guess it's a "play dead" reflex of some kind. Apparently it only works if you hold the bird's head down. Basically they are terrifying it, and it's going catatonic. It's not unique to chickens.

I've been wanting to try this with our chickens but they won't stay still long enough

I’ve done this before. You can sometimes draw the line down their comb, but @caitlinburke is right; the head must be down and the bird thinks you’re a predator.

LOVE LAUGH LEARN LAUGH LOVE LIVE LEARN LAUGH LOVE LIVE LOVE LOVE LEARN LAUGH LIVE LAUGH LOVE LAUGH LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN LIVE LEARN

I love you but I've chosen darkness

HOLY SHIT I CAN'T BREATHE

I have a coworker named Tim. Tim is always lost as shit. These are all going on Slack.

gritty reboot of the gritty reboot of the gritty reality (2019)

evergreen

Fuck you, Poovey

Somebody shooped the middle of the room out.

Odd. Impressive, but odd.

@MackReed oh! I did not notice it!

Shooped? Like this? https://youtu.be/4vaN01VLYSQ

This should be spraypainted on the wall of every UX consultant's office and tattooed on their inside wrists.

And like i tell the writers i work with: don't underline things that aren't links.

They're blue. I can't help it if you're colorblind

Ironically, the URL in the bottom right corner of this meme is not underlined.

oh god please let me die beneath her fists

I have made it a short-term goal to see one of those at a zoo. Apparently the Prospect Park zoo in Brookyln has one, so does the zoo in Roanoke, VA.

Pallas's Cat! Little fuzzy buddy!

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here:
HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate
my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
Because we can.
For the good of all of us,
Except the ones who are dead.

@Goshawk +++

@Goshawk +1

@Goshawk I wish. Turns out it was Cotton Eyed Joe by Rednex.

Anish Kapoor doesn't like "The Bean." Good. Fuck Anish Kapoor.

@Mr_Encyclopedia Maybe he should paint it black.

@ardgedee I see a big bean and I want to paint it black.

mmmmm black beans

ow

amazing

https://youtu.be/YLuWYD6sFwo

Oh, *fuck* yes.

At least you can tell it's not pork bung

Hard would

Chewy, tho.

Now we know the answer to the hot dog bun qiestion

TEN TICKLES

NEEDS MORE MUSTARD

Wow. I'm going to suck so hard as a dad.

@chicobangs I built a beautiful cradle for my first kid. It was a fun project and came out really nice, and we used it maybe a year total, for both kids. Now it sits in the basement, too nice to toss out, but otherwise useless. My kids don’t remember anything about it, all of the parenting that really mattered happened after that cradle was useless.

Das Kinderboot

Not hitting anything is the other half.