FINALLY, a guide for the rest of us

a fake product by creator obviousplant, in this instance a thin volume that is titled "every jazz sound". below that, an image of a balding man with his eyes half closed, playing a trumpet, with the adjacent text column: "featuring: TOOT, SQUEE, BOP, WHAH WHAH, TOOT TOOT, FLUTE VIBRATO, BOOM BIP, TOOT TOOP, BASS, SNARE, KICK, RIM SHOT, SQUONK, ...AND MORE". below that, an inset of a fedora that reads "inlcudes *fedora rustle*" and a cartoon crab playing a fedora with the footer "a jazz crabs hearing aid"